


remember, forever

by elisu



Series: you're the only friend i need [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Christmas Fluff, Goodbyes, Not really though, nct dream graduation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:19:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22260190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elisu/pseuds/elisu
Summary: They say that you don’t realise what you’ve got until it’s gone.Jisung disagrees.Jisung savours every soft whisper, every lingering kiss, every roar of laughter that makes his heart so full.or:Before Chenle's last year in Korea comes to an end, the Dreamies reunite for Christmas dinner.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Series: you're the only friend i need [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1739584
Comments: 13
Kudos: 107





	remember, forever

**Author's Note:**

> behold!!! my first!! ever!! fic!! i put my entire heart and some several hours into this piece and i sincerely hope you like it! this is set at christmas time so the timing of me posting this is a bit awkward but i'm far too impatient to wait eleven months so here it is now.  
> this obviously my debut as a writer so it's not perfect but i'm still proud of myself for finishing it! i'd love some constructive criticism, if you've got any, or any sort of feedback whatsoever. my twitter is @dreamscng and dms are always welcome!

They say that you don’t realise what you’ve got until it’s gone. 

Jisung disagrees. 

He’s realised from the beginning.

He realises in the moments between jokes, when he’s crying with laughter and his lungs feel like they’re about to burst. He realises when he looks away and looks back to see that he’s got another dumpling on his plate thanks to Jaemin, who insists he has to eat more. He realises when Chenle’s hands find their way to his own in the dark, childish and unassuming. He realises when their eyes meet, so full of tenderness, that home is so much more than four walls. 

Jisung savours every soft whisper, every lingering kiss, every roar of laughter that makes his heart so full. 

It’s when things are about to be gone that Jisung realises the hardest. It’s every moment that he’s got locked in his memory, scribbled carefully in the margins of his mind that makes him hurt and glow at the same. It’s the fact that every piece of warmth and joy that Jisung has collected in his heart that turns into aching, aching, realisation. 

Because Jisung has heard so many goodbyes that he’d be immune to the pain that comes with them by now, but he’s not.

The six of them sit close around the table and Jisung basks in the feeling of home as Donghyuck makes another joke, and the others are sent into a fit of table-slapping laughter. Pleased with his appreciative audience, he beams and puts a strawberry in his mouth, unphased by the sour taste of this winter’s harvest. From across the table, Jisung notices that his smile doesn’t have its usual warmth and disappears almost as soon as it shows. Next to him, Chenle notices too, and the two share a knowing glance before sighing in unison. Jaemin seems to see it as well, and shoots them a look before taking off his obnoxiously Christmassy party hat and placing it on Donghyuck’s head. This sparks a welcome protest from the latter, as he pulls at the hat and throws it at Jaemin playfully, eliciting a show of tooth-rotting aegyo from Jaemin that makes the rest of the table yell in disgust. With a pout he turns to his other side to kiss an unexpecting Renjun on the cheek, who blushes furiously and punches his friend on the shoulder. 

Jisung laughs heartily, tells himself never to forget this.

There’s a comfortable silence, save for murmurs of ‘here, take this (food),’, amongst the boys and ‘thanks hyung,’ as the family eats their Christmas dinner. Jaemin has a feast prepared of various Korean dishes and desserts, and there’s an assortment of fresh fruit and cookies sent in from Chenle’s family in China. Jeno whispers, “you okay?” to Donghyuck when he catches him staring for too long at the nearly-empty bowl of watermelon pieces. Donghyuck nods and forces a smile in reply. Jeno gives him the same look, and wraps his arm around Donghyuck’s shoulders, knowing that to be there for him is all he can do.  
There’s a bittersweet air that taints the friends’ festivities, the realisation evident amongst all of them that this is the last dinner they’ll share all together in a long time. None of them bother with the promises of keeping in touch, mostly out of fear that they’ll break them, but also because it makes the distance all too real. Jisung fears he’ll never feel this same love ever again after this night passes and his hyungs leave him behind for better futures, better things. 

There’s also the same emptiness, the fleeting hope that fills the seventh seat at the table. All of them knew what it meant when when Donghyuck set the table, none of them saying a word as not to jinx it.

All of them secretly want it as much as he does, but no one wants it quite as desperately. 

Now the room’s one window displays the sun on its way home, warm shades painting the sky with a golden wash. Jisung wonders at this point if everything beautiful ends like this, overwhelmingly colourfully and then all at once. He wonders if the sky ever gets tired of saying so many beautiful goodbyes. 

The fairy lights are getting brighter by the minute as the sky darkens, the soft glow encasing the small room. The Christmas tree is a simple one this year: the usual baubles swapped for coloured pieces of paper with notes written on them by the boys themselves. They’re mostly stupid notes, like ‘jisung poo hands LOL’ (thanks Chenle,,,) and heartfelt messages like “I love yall more than overwatch” (Lee Jeno, in all his honour), but also [insert renaissance painting that belongs in a gallery], thanks to Renjun and his overachiever complex and sickening artistic talent. 

It’s a scene that Jisung will remember forever.

As time ticks on and the seventh seat at the table remains empty, tension starts to become apparent on Donghyuck’s face. Anxiously, he stares at the door and fumbles helplessly with his hands. The food is almost finished at this point, but there’s still a piece of watermelon left in the bowl. The boys are drinking a messy combination of punch and soju and reminiscing their time together. Donghyuck is sick of getting looks whenever a certain name is mentioned. Chenle squeezes Jisung’s hand when he frowns at him miserably and asks him not to leave. Because there’s also nothing he can do to stop time from passing, nothing he can do to stop what’s fated to happen from happening. 

Jisung takes note of how warm Chenle’s hand is, how even for a moment, he can feel his problems melt away and just focus on the feeling of their fingers meeting.  
The talk and laughter continue and Jisung looks back on all his realisations, the moments in time that he’d keep by his side for the rest of his life. He remembers the person he was before, and wonders who he is now.

When the clock chimes eleven, they go quiet.

Donghyuck pours a shot of soju and downs it in one go, not knowing what else to do when the one who means the most to him is the one that doesn’t show.  
“I miss him,” Jisung blurts out, immediately looking down to avoid his hyungs’ eyes that he can feel on him.

Placing the shot glass down on the table, Donghyuck pauses, then stands up and turns towards the door, ready to leave. Jisung winces at the action and puts his head in his hands. 

Forever, Jisung will remember how it’s then that all six of them hear the telltale sound of a key in the lock, and Donghyuck freezes in shock. It’s then that Mark Lee turns the doorknob and walks in like nothing happened, like he’s been home all this time. 

He’ll remember how everyone starts crying when Donghyuck does, when he runs into Mark’s open arms and stays there for what seems like forever. 

When everyone’s had their turn hugging him in the doorway, they sit back down at the table as seven. 

The room feels full once again and Donghyuck’s looking at Mark like he’s his home, always was. 

“You saved me a piece of watermelon,” he leans over to whisper to him, grinning as if he thought he wouldn’t, like he doesn’t always do so. Donghyuck, who’s still gazing at Mark, grins back and kisses him full on the mouth while the two are close enough to. 

It’s then that Mark’s cheeks, still flushed from the cold outside, turn as red as Jaemin’s hat that’s found its way back to Renjun’s head again. 

It’s then that all the boys smile, knowing that they’re happiest as seven, no matter what happens.

Jisung has realised so many times throughout his journey with his found family, but it’s now that he knows that no matter how much time passes and how many flights get delayed and how many times he’ll have to say goodbye, the ones with love in their heart will always find their way back to each other. 

Because Mark was always by Donghyuck’s side, even when he couldn’t see it. And there they are now, sitting close as if they don’t know any other way and crying and laughing together like everything’s going to be okay. 

So he looks over to Chenle and kisses him too.

It’s stopped snowing by the time Chenle and Jisung are running, hand in hand towards the fair ride like little kids. 

The snow has set well into the ground, creating a white sheet that blankets the paths and trees and cars like frosting on a wet cake, and the two of them are laughing themselves silly at nothing in particular, noses red from the cold. 

It’s well past midnight and the world is asleep, but the lights of the ferris wheel are still bright like red and green stars when they line up hand in hand to buy tickets.  
When they’re sitting together in the glass carriage Jisung takes both Chenle’s hands and stares at him shyly. “China is a long way away,” he lets himself say, so soft that anyone outside of Chenle’s proximity couldn’t possibly here. 

“It is,” he replies, barely whispering back.

They remain in dead silence for a while, as the reality seems to bounce off of the four walls of the glass box and pass over their heads, then ricochet back into their faces. 

Chenle doesn’t like promises. He likes comfortable silence and loud banter, hot ramen and cold tea. He likes stolen kisses and the way Jisung ‘s eyes light up when he says his name. Jisung likes to think that Chenle is the warmth in his winter, and the spring to his sadness. And he’d like to think that even though Chenle doesn’t mention it, he’ll be by his side forever, even if forever means tonight and a year of ‘good morning’ texts when they’re miles apart and Jisung has to hold his own hands. 

Because even when Chenle couldn’t speak his language, Jisung knew that he’d be the one to stick around for a long time. Knew that plane time passing and flight delays and saying goodbyes couldn’t possibly be stronger than their friendship.

Because Jisung has seen too many a miracle to think that meeting him is merely a miracle, a coincidence. 

So when their carriage reaches the top of the ferris wheel Chenle takes him in his arms and holds him so, so tightly and says, “We’ll make it work,” Jisung knows he means I love you too, and we’ll meet again, I promise, but also, I don’t want this night to end, and we’ll be apart but please don’t forget me.

And Jisung makes a small wish.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading wow omg this is scary ok haha wow is anyone actually reading this  
> edit: people are actually reading this wtf that's insane thank you also i barely proofread this before posting and you can TELL. sorry for the hella typing errors :''''


End file.
